20 March 2018

"I Love Myself"

Over the course of 20+ years, I've personally come across or known about very many individuals who experience severe emotional pain in their lives. Quite a few were debilitated by their on-going distress, and seemed to be incapable of moving forward or healing from their inner turmoil.

I make no claim of being an expert, but my inner knowingness and neutral observation tell me over and over again that almost all of such cases demonstrate a common base - a serious lack of Self-Love.

A large number of these individuals even exhibit varying degrees of self-hatred, which led to physical self-harm or emotional self-abuse.

I will share one particular incident that aptly demonstrates the crippling effect that an absence of Self-Love had in this particular individual's life. This person was in her thirties, with teenage kids. She was drifting in and out of relationships over the years, all of them physically abusive.

When I met her, she was in hiding from her current partner, who had physically harmed her and was threatening to do the same to her children.

She had a beautiful personality, bubbly, charming and with a heart that ached to be free. In less than an hour, she had poured out her life story to me. We met up a couple more times thereafter, because our kids were in the same activity group.

She was desperate. She wanted to end the current relationship but didn't want to be without a partner. Her solution? Leave the current relationship and replace it almost immediately.... with another abusive individual.

I asked if she was willing to do one simple thing for herself, to which she agreed. I suggested that each morning, she should look into the mirror and say, "I love myself".

She practically zoned out at my suggestion. It took her a long time to finally say something, and it wasn't encouraging at all. She insisted she couldn't do it, I insisted that she at least tried.

The next time I met her, I enquired as casually as I could if she had administered that simple act of Self-Love. She started to cry, and told me she tried to do it but just broke down. She just couldn't say those three words.

That was the last I saw or heard from her. It was 15 years ago, and since then I've met many who visibly balked at the very idea of saying "I love myself".

In a recent chat with a psychic friend, I brought this topic up. She told me that she sees many clients who are unable to love themselves. When I admitted to her that I found that very hard to accept, because true and authentic Self-Love is tantamount to love of the Divine, she made me understand that an inability to feel Self-Love is indeed a very widespread and common condition.

We are conditioned and programmed from Day 1 by the dark in all possible ways to gradually come to this point where we are so lost and confused, allowing ourselves to stray from this vital power that is Self-Love, which has and always been there, just waiting for us to claim it for ourselves.

No matter how much others love us, we will never feel "enough" if we don't love ourselves. Not the narcissistic strutting type of "love", which isn't love at all but actually a lack of love.

Perhaps over this Equinox period, when we are in quiet contemplation or meditation, we could declare with full conviction and as much gusto as we can muster, letting it serve as proxy to all who are at the moment unable to claim it for themselves....I LOVE MYSELF.

True Self-Love, which is oh-so-similar to love of the Divine, authentic in every sense.

True Self-Love that fills us with real compassion for another.

True Self-Love that enables us to see everyone and everything in shades of Love.

True Self-Love that encourages us to nourish our Divine aspects so that they flourish.

True Self-Love that resonates with the very frequency of All That Is.

It is said that "Love is the answer". I'd like to tweak that to "Self-Love is the answer".


  1. Wonderfully wise words here!

    This is the number one topic that is so very much needing to be expressed out loud & then you expressed it Grace here in such a beautifully well written way.

    Practicing the art of truly & deeply loving thyself is absolutely the big key here for most people. It is one of the largest inner issues or struggles for humanity that then bleeds out, corrupts & distorts everything else from there.

    The Dark have done everything in their power to keep people “out of their heart”, on every level, no matter what, and this deeply limited state of being then manifests itself into various versions of egoic narcissism or deeply painful personal dysfunctional states.
    You can see this programming stemming from every direction including the distortions The Dark distortions have whittled into Religion, where so many times I’ve heard the motto: No matter what, help others over yourself.....and then other programming that also teaches: whatever you do “don’t save yourself”, only something outside & beyond you can save you. You yourself have no power, power only comes from beyond you, rattles on & on from every corner of our societies.

    How insidious & just plain backwards yes, as only you can truly help yourself, by finding your inner power inside your heart. Switching & flipping our world’s overall sick psychological dynamic from being & teaching us to be: “In Love with Power” instead of “The Power in Love”

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm we have much much much to heal from here collectively but hands up for Grace’s post here, as indeed the big number one starting point for all of us is to practice the deeply important art of self love indeed.
    Finding your way into your own heart ~
    I like to say to people, find that magic elf inside yourself, that’s why there is an elf inside the word yourself ;)
    You hold the magic key to yourself within your heart ~ only you can make your yourself & therefore make your life count ;)

    1. Thank you, White Rabbit in the Moon....this can be an uncomfortable topic for some. "....out of their heart..." ~ well said.